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Archive for the ‘feelings’ Category

happiness

sometimes when i’m happy

words pour out of me

like blood from my veins

and sometimes when i’m happy

i can’t quite find the words

to express my joy

i suppose i’d rather suffer the latter

and be quietly bubbling over

savoring the love i feel inside

than say too much

and jinx myself

so i’m happy

so happy

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it amazes me that after everything i’ve gone through to get to the place that i’m at, to turn into the person that i am, i can still trust someone new so quickly

or perhaps it’s just that this new someone is finally a someone who is trustworthy

or perhaps i’m just excited

 

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does.not.suffice

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21.february

you finally told me no and a weight has been lifted

my disappointment is not as overwhelming as my new-found freedom to let go

there will always be a beautiful sadness between us

and in the future there will be moments where we wonder what could have been

but for now, i’ll move on to being recklessly optimistic about other things

and wait for someone else to tear me apart

perhaps you weren’t destructive enough for me anyway

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do.you.ever

do you ever imagine something to be so great

and think about it constantly

building it up to be this monumental truth

that only exists inside your head

?

have you ever let those thoughts exit your mouth

tumbling over your tongue

in a haphazard manner, wreaking havoc in a way

you hadn’t hoped for

?

have you ever sat back and listened to yourself

as if you were someone else

listening to ridiculous words of hope and desire

realizing only then

just how ridiculous you were

?

 

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vertigo

i feel the rush

inside my head

i’m falling out of control

spinning

spinning

spinning

toward the ground

teeth numb

eyelids drooping

limbs heavy

i cannot tell

whether it is fatigue

or still symptoms

leftover

all i know

is that with every breath

and every shift of

my vision

i’ll continue to

spin

spin

spin

out of control

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more

i’m used to feeling more hurt

i’m used to feeling more pain

i’m used to feeling more confusion

i’m used to feeling more longing

i’m used to feeling more

i’m used to feeling

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