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does.not.suffice

21.february

you finally told me no and a weight has been lifted

my disappointment is not as overwhelming as my new-found freedom to let go

there will always be a beautiful sadness between us

and in the future there will be moments where we wonder what could have been

but for now, i’ll move on to being recklessly optimistic about other things

and wait for someone else to tear me apart

perhaps you weren’t destructive enough for me anyway

do.you.ever

do you ever imagine something to be so great

and think about it constantly

building it up to be this monumental truth

that only exists inside your head

?

have you ever let those thoughts exit your mouth

tumbling over your tongue

in a haphazard manner, wreaking havoc in a way

you hadn’t hoped for

?

have you ever sat back and listened to yourself

as if you were someone else

listening to ridiculous words of hope and desire

realizing only then

just how ridiculous you were

?

 

vertigo

i feel the rush

inside my head

i’m falling out of control

spinning

spinning

spinning

toward the ground

teeth numb

eyelids drooping

limbs heavy

i cannot tell

whether it is fatigue

or still symptoms

leftover

all i know

is that with every breath

and every shift of

my vision

i’ll continue to

spin

spin

spin

out of control

colette

colette by langhorne slim

love this song so much.

query

what is it

about first kisses

that make such an impression

what is it

about last kisses

that leaves such a gaping hole

what is it

about the power

that kisses continue to have

over my poor heart

more

i’m used to feeling more hurt

i’m used to feeling more pain

i’m used to feeling more confusion

i’m used to feeling more longing

i’m used to feeling more

i’m used to feeling