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Posts Tagged ‘feeling’

09.january

i want to kiss your lips

so badly i may burst

but your coldness rips

right through me leaving

blood on the tips

of my fingers

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how.my.heart.behaves

a cold heart will burst
if mistrusted first
and a calm heart will break
when given a shake

-feist

i think i’m on the verge of being uncontrollably happy, and that’s exciting.

please don’t break my heart.

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twitterpated

adj
confused by affection or infatuation

well, i wouldn’t say that i’m confused.  my stomach is full of butterflies and my mind is full of thoughts i need to consciously push out of my mind to get any work done.

i don’t want to jinx anything, but it is such a nice feeling to know the affection you have for someone is being returned.

which is something i don’t tend to feel all that often.

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double.shot.of.nostalgia

it began innocently enough

looking through old photographs

just for fun

and then

BAM

lump in my throat

brought on by the memory of this photo

and that party

and some crazy nights

and all the hard work we did

and all the deserved success we had

and those bathroom talks

and sing-a-longs

and how young and beautiful we were

and rehearsals, performances, casts, build days, all-nighters

my life was so good

and my life is so good

i just wish

you were all here to share it with me.

This will always be one of my favorite photographs ever. So young and beautiful an ridiculous.

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recollections

i have come to the conclusion that i am the girl men want to fall in love with them.  i am sweet and considerate.  i like to cook them dinner and let them sigh into the space between my shoulder and my chest as they decompress after a long day.  i am a good listener and am sincere of my interest in their problems.  i am clever and have good taste in music.  i am pretty and their mothers always love me.

i have come to the conclusion that i am the girl men can see a future with (and become frightened because they have a need inside of them to sow more wild oats before settling).  i make them comfortable and content.  i trust them with my heart.  i don’t need to be around them all the time but when i am not they tend to miss me.  i am often told that i will make a wonderful mother.

i have come to the conclusion that i am the girl who will never get quite enough of what she deserves.

i have come to the conclusion that realizing all of these things is part of being the kind of girl that i am, the kind of girl that i am pleased to be.

and now, a song that should be sung to me by a chorus of past-lovers:

Okay so I was wrong about
My reasons for us fallin’ out
Of love I want to fall back in

My life is different now I swear
I know now what it means to care
About somebody other than myself

I know the things I said to you
They were untender and untrue
I’d like to see those things undo

So if you could find it in your heart
To give a man a second start
I promise things won’t end the same

Shame, boatloads of shame
Day after day, more of the same
Blame, please lift it off
Please take it off, please make it stop

Okay so I have read the mail
The stories people often tell
About us that we never knew

But their existence will float away
And just like every word they say
And we will hold hands as they fade

Shame, boatloads of shame
Day after day, more of the same
Blame, please lift it off
Please take it off, please make it stop

I felt so sure of everything
My love to you so well received
And I just strutted around your town
Knowing I didn’t let you down
The truth be known, the truth be told
My heart was always fairly cold
Posing to be as warm as yours
My way of getting in your world

But now I’m out and I’ve had time
To look around and think
And sink into another world
That’s filled with guilt and overwhelming

Shame, boatloads of shame
Day after day, more of the same
Blame, please lift it off
Please take it off, please make it stop

And everyone they have a heart
And when they break and fall apart
And need somebody’s helping hand

I used to say just let ’em fall
It wouldn’t bother me at all
I couldn’t help them now I can

Shame by the Avett Brothers

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7.august

i was falling in love while you were getting bored

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28.july

so many good things

are still not

outweighing

the fear of falling,

the doubt that i may not

survive this,

the urge to break all these windows

just to prove that i can make a sound.

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